Where I Belong
by NightCat
Summary: Home? Which is real home? My house? Or...


1.1 Where I Belong  
  
2 A/N: Just an idea that popped into my mind while having a fever. =P  
  
Warning: TsuHi WAFF  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing except for this story.  
  
*** *** ***  
  
3  
  
4 I don't feel like going home…  
  
It was Friday. The day on which Tsuzuki would stay over at Hisoka's house. However, Hijiri, of all days, decided to drop by Tsuzuki's house. Although Hijiri had asked him to go along, Hisoka simply gave an excuse and left. Tsuzuki had promised to call as soon as Hijiri leaves, but Hisoka wondered if Hijiri would let him out of sight at all.  
  
It's obvious what feelings Hijiri has for Tsuzuki.  
  
Hisoka strolled aimlessly in a nearby park, his mind occupied by thoughts.  
  
5 Home…? Which is my real home? My house? Or…  
  
Seated himself on a long bench in front of a playground, Hisoka watched a group of lively children playing hide-and-seek. Gathering at a small shelter by the side was a few young women, whom must be the children's parents.  
  
"No peeking until you count to 100, okay?"  
  
"1-2-3, begin!"  
  
"Hurry! This way!"  
  
The rest of the group started to run for a hiding place while the "monster" covered his eyes with both of his hands and counted. This scene brought back memories of the past.  
  
I also played hide-and-seek with my neighboring children back then. But that was after being chased out by my parents…  
  
Hisoka let out a sigh and looked up towards the sky. Clouds have gathered and a gust of wind swept by the park. A heavy rain was probably approaching.  
  
Just as predicted, halfway through the game, a drizzle began to fall. Immediately the children rushed for the shelter, where their caring mothers welcomed them with open arms. As soon as the playground was vacated, the rain turned into a heavy downpour.  
  
However, Hisoka had no intention of leaving. He watched silently as a mother wiped her daughter's wet face with a small towel, while another helped her son put on a jacket.  
  
It was such a natural scene. That was what all mothers would do. But…  
  
Fear, coldness and unloving are the only memories I have of her.  
  
Closing his emerald eyes, Hisoka tilted his head up and let the cold rain fall freely upon his face. For now he just want to stay like this, with nothing on his mind.  
  
When Hisoka finally reopened his eyes, he realized that the mothers and children were already gone. The small clock tower beside the shelter was showing 8pm.  
  
6 I wonder if Hijiri is still around…?  
  
Hisoka got up and headed towards the main road.  
  
The rain had not lessened during that short period. The dark clouds were continuously pouring out its contents in full scale, and Hisoka did not mind a bit. Looking down at the rain-dampened road, Hisoka kept on walking until he has reached a T-junction.  
  
He slowly lifted his head, and chuckled inwardly when he realized where he was.  
  
I feel like an idiot.  
  
There, right across to the right of the T-junction, stood Tsuzuki's apartment.  
  
For a moment Hisoka just stood there, staring at the light from the room on the second floor. Hijiri must still be in there, he decided.  
  
What am I doing here? Maybe I should just go home. He's probably occupied for the whole night anyway…  
  
Just as Hisoka was about to turn around and leave, he heard a familiar voice calling out to him from behind.  
  
"Hisoka!"  
  
Instinctively, Hisoka looked back and saw a tall figure running towards him.  
  
Tsuzuki…?  
  
"Hisoka! Where have you…man you're soaked!"  
  
Tsuzuki brushed aside the damp locks of hair that stuck onto Hisoka's cheeks; his eyes filled with concern. Hisoka could feel the warmth of Tsuzuki's hands on his cold face.  
  
"You're freezing. Let's get you out of the rain first and talk later."  
  
With that Tsuzuki put his arm around Hisoka's shoulders and tagged him along towards his apartment.  
  
*** *** ***  
  
The sound of running water from the bathroom had stopped. A moment later Hisoka, dressed in Tsuzuki's over-sized T-shirt, emerged from it. He walked to the kitchen and saw Tsuzuki, with a towel around his neck, carrying a bowl of cream soup to the dining table.  
  
"Aa, Hisoka. Feeling better? I've prepared some hot soup for you. Oh don't worry, it's instant soup."  
  
Relieved, Hisoka slowly sipped the warm liquid. It warmed his body as it traveled down his throat. Tsuzuki watched contentedly while he dry his hair.  
  
"Nee Hisoka, where have you been? I called your house and cell phone many times but couldn't reach you, so I went out to look for you. To think that you were actually right there in front of my apartment."  
  
You went out to look for me?  
  
"Do you know how worried I was?" Tsuzuki reached out to take Hisoka's hand. "Please don't do this again…"  
  
Emerald eyes met amethyst ones. Through the contact Hisoka could feel Tsuzuki's emotions. It was true concern and something deeper which Hisoka dare not think further into.  
  
"…ka"  
  
"Eh? What?  
  
"Are you a real baka? Who would go out into the rain heavy as this without an umbrella or raincoat??"  
  
"Emm…I was too worried about you to think of anything else. I even forgot to turn off the lights, haha!"  
  
Baka…just because I was away for a couple of hours…  
  
"Tsuzuki," Hisoka returned the grip on his hand. "Sorry to make you worry."  
  
"Hisoka…"  
  
Only once in blue moon would Hisoka say something like that. Tsuzuki gave his partner a warm smile.  
  
"Why don't you spend the night here? I was supposed to stay over at your house anyway."  
  
"Um." Hisoka simple nodded.  
  
"Go ahead and sleep on my bed if you're tired; I'm going to take a shower first."  
  
"Aa? Um…"  
  
For a brief moment Hisoka had lost his guard. He quickly shook his head to dismiss the evil thought that flashed across his mind. Seeing that Tsuzuki had already left the kitchen, Hisoka quickly finished up the soup and put away the dishes. While washing them, he considered whether he should ask Tsuzuki about Hijiri. Not that he did not trust his partner, but it just made him feel uneasy.  
  
When did I start becoming so concerned with other people's affairs?  
  
*** *** ***  
  
In the middle of the night, Hisoka was suddenly awakened. It wasn't long before he realized that his whole body was shivering uncontrollably. The room was not cold despite the rain outside. Hisoka knew this too well; it was the sign of an upcoming fever.  
  
Curled up like a shrimp, Hisoka could do nothing but to let his body do what it had to. The shivering was not due to coldness so it could not be stopped. A chilled went down Hisoka's spine. He never expected that he would face this again. Four years of it was much more than enough. What made it worst was that he had gone through the pain all alone.  
  
Fear began to creep into Hisoka's heart.  
  
No, not again, no……Tsuzuki…  
  
The trembling, passed on through the sheets, had stirred Tsuzuki awake. He turned to the side to face Hisoka.  
  
"Hisoka? What's wrong? Are you feeling cold?"  
  
Hisoka shook his head, his breathing quickened. Tsuzuki brought his hand up to Hisoka's face. Without saying a word, Hisoka overlapped Tsuzuki's hand with his own and held it close to, seeking comfort.  
  
"Could it be…fever?"  
  
A slight nod. Hisoka opened his mouth, trying to say something, but immediately knew that he would not be able to speak clearly with his teeth clattering. Instead, he concentrated his thoughts and delivered them through telepath.  
  
This is just like the past…  
  
Alone…suffering…never-ending temperature…I don't want that anymore…I don't…  
  
"Hisoka…"  
  
Tsuzuki could feel the smaller hand trembled even harder as its grip tightened on his own. He remembered that Hisoka had once told him that he was on constant high fever for four years due to Muraki's curse.  
  
Although shinigami have healing powers, there were also limitations. What it actually does was repairing of damaged tissues due to physical injuries. Fever and such are caused by viruses, therefore their healing abilities will not work.  
  
Tsuzuki reached out and pulled Hisoka into his embrace. He moved his left hand up and down his back, trying to give him as much comfort as he could. Unconsciously Hisoka clutched Tsuzuki's shirt and buried his face into his chest. "Tsu…zuki…"  
  
"It's all right, Hisoka. I'm here. You're no longer alone, so don't be afraid." Tsuzuki whispered, assuring him.  
  
Tsuzuki's words flowed into Hisoka's heart, warming and touching his soul.  
  
"I'm sorry. I wish there is more that I can do."  
  
Hisoka slowly shook his head. He looked up and gave Tsuzuki a weak smile. "This will do. It's so warm…"  
  
"Hisoka…" Tsuzuki noticed that his shivering has begun to cease.  
  
Hisoka snuggled closer to Tsuzuki and closed his eyes. Within seconds he was asleep. Tsuzuki smiled and pulled the cover up to his shoulder. He kissed the top of Hisoka's head and whispered, "Oyasumi, Hisoka."  
  
*** *** ***  
  
The next morning, when Hisoka open his eyes, the first thing that entered his view was his partner's smiling face. "Hisoka, ohayou."  
  
"Ah…Tsuzuki…" His head felt heavy.  
  
"How are you feeling now? You fever came soon after you felt asleep, but looks like it has gotten better." Tsuzuki said as he removed the towel on Hisoka's forehead and dipped it into the tub of ice water.  
  
"You've been taking care of me all night?" He asked as he tried to sit up.  
  
Tsuzuki simply nodded and smiled as he wiped the sweat on Hisoka's face with the cold towel. It reminded Hisoka of the mothers and children at the playground the day before. Unknowingly, tears began to form in his eyes.  
  
"Hisoka? What's wrong?" Tsuzuki placed the towel aside and sat on the bedside.  
  
"It's just that…no one has ever cared for me so much. So much that…I…I…"  
  
Tears were now flowing freely down Hisoka's face. Tsuzuki leaned forward and kissed them away. He understood why Hisoka felt that way, given what his past was like. At least he had had an elder sister who cared for him; Hisoka had had no one.  
  
"Hisoka," Tsuzuki gently brushed the blond strands. "I know I may not be good enough, but I want to give you what you have lost when you were alive. I want to take care of you when you're ill; hold you when you feel lonely; comfort you when you cry, and…" His thumb traveled down to touch his lower lips. "Be the first to see when you smile…"  
  
Hisoka was speechless. He has never heard something so touching in his life and afterlife.  
  
"Let's live together."  
  
New tears began to swell up in his eyes again. All Hisoka could do was to extend his arms and pull his partner down for a hug. Tsuzuki was more than willing to comply. He wished he could hold this fragile body in his arms forever, to protect him from all harm and sorrow.  
  
"Shall we?" Tsuzuki asked softly.  
  
A nod was Hisoka's answer. His face was slightly flushed; whether from fever or otherwise he was not sure. But one thing he could be certain was that he no longer had any doubt where his true home was.  
  
This is where I belong…  
  
***End***  
  
The first half and second half seem to be two different stories. And I'm poor in descriptions. ^^;; Comments will be appreciated. Thanks for reading! --SkyArc 


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